


Thoughts from the neighbor

by ChillCapivara



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 21:17:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13796544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChillCapivara/pseuds/ChillCapivara
Summary: Cassian doesn't know her name, and yet, since she moved to the flat next to his about a month ago, he finds himself sharing a strange intimacy with her.





	Thoughts from the neighbor

Cassian doesn't know her name, and yet, since she moved to the flat next to his about a month ago, he finds himself sharing a strange intimacy with her.

He may not know her name, but he knows a lot.

She takes quick showers, which is good - he doesn't like it when the sound of running water lasts for too long. The picture of all that hot water going to waste, running through the pipes in his walls is uncomfortable.

She doesn't care enough to memorize which switch turns on each light. She often presses them all at random, until she finds the right one. In the process, she sometimes lights up their shared balcony by accident. He doesn't mind it when that happens, not even when it's after midnight and she has to hastily turn it off before any of the other neighbors complain to their landlady, because it means that she is also awake. He isn't the only one who has trouble sleeping.

She is a kind-hearted person. He wasn't expecting it. On the two occasions that they unexpectedly bumped into each other on the hallway, she had only awkwardly nodded at him, and he at her, without a smile or even a word of acknowledgment. But there is gentleness in her rough edges - he knows it, because she always puts on milk on a bowl for the street cat that wanders in their hall, even when the cat is evil and breaks her purple-coloured utensil and spills milk all over the floor (the cat's wrongdoing breaks Cassian's heart: he can almost feel her disappointment, the feeling is not strange to him). Cassian had long given up on taming that wild beast, but the woman has a good spirit. On the next day, she puts out a plastic bowl, one which the cat can't break. Cassian smirks at the sound of the cat's frustrated threatening hisses.

She likes good music, the kind he likes. The first song he ever heard drifting through his - their - walls was _A Change Is Gonna Come_ , sung by Otis Redding. There was a sly smile on his face when he heard the familiar tune. He liked the sound of hope.

She also likes Sam Cooke, Janis Joplin and a million others.

(Sometimes, just sometimes, when her songs get stuck in his head during mornings, he listens to them with his cheap headphones on the bus, on his way to work.)

He hears her humming a song in the shower, once. She hadn't blasted that one before. He definitely knew it, but couldn't quite recognize it in her voice. He takes out his phone and searches the lyrics.

It is _Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow_ , by Carole King. Just as he frowns - he hadn't recognized it before because she had mispronounced a couple of words - he hears a quiet sob.

That is when he understands she's had a bad day.

He should have realized it sooner, by the way she had closed her door differently, her steps much more hurried than usual. 

He lays down on his bed, still hearing her crying in the - long - shower.

Cassian could have put on his headphones and watched something to muffle her noise, but he just stands paralyzed under his sheets, listening to her sniffs. He wishes he could be someone who would promptly get out of his room and bring her her favorite dishes, just to cheer her up and be kind. He knows that she likes chicken-flavoured cup noodles - he's seen it in her trashbag sometimes.

But he doesn't do that.

He just stands there in his own room, silently listening to his controlled breaths overlapping with her breathless wailings. 

When her breathing finally evens and she turns off all the lights in her flat without hesitation, Cassian starts to think about his life. Of how strange it is that he could go on for days without saying " _Good morning_ " to anyone. Of how he keeps refreshing his phone for messages, even though he only ever receives emails from the bank and spamming from the phone company. Of how quiet his apartment had been, without anyone ever knocking on his door for any reason - until She came in, with her quick showers, random light switches, good background songs and love for junk food.

Cassian thinks that the most ridiculous thing of all is that he feels so lonely that he depends on listening to his nameless neighbor's cries, just so that he can feel something.

His pillow gets wet.

 

 

It's pitiful, how the highlight of his day is the "Have a good day at work, sir" that the bus driver says to him when he gets off the bus. Cassian is so surprised and flustered that the only words he manages to get out are "Y-you too", before the doors close in on him and the bus fades in the distance, leaving him on the sidewalk, mad at himself for not being able to squeeze a nice smile and a " _Thank you, I hope you'll have a good day as well!_ ".

 

 

Carole King's _Tapestry_ album fills his mind when he's eating his lunch, alone on the park bench. He tells himself that he would never make her sing  _Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow_ in the shower, instead, he would do everything in his power to make her feel like  _A Natural Woman,_ but the reality is that he knows he isn't featured on the tracklist.

 

 

He doesn't know how to differentiate pity from compassion on his landlady's face when he tells her he can't afford the rent anymore. 

"What happened?", Mrs. Mothma asks him. 

"I lost my job", Cassian tells her bluntly, just as emotionlessly as when his (ex) boss called him up and said " _You're fired_ ", as someone would comment on the weather. 

He is bracing himself for impact. He knows Mothma is going to kick him out, and she won't be in the wrong. It is just the way things are. 

"Are you looking for a new one?"

"Yes", he doesn't hide the fact that he thinks it's weird that she's asking him this. She doesn't have to pretend she cares. He would rather she just cut to the point already. He can deal with the blow. 

"When do you think you will find it?"

"I don't know", he says truthfully. "I've been to a few interviews, and some of them were good." 

"So, perhaps... Two months?"

Cassian blinks once, twice. 

"You're letting me stay?" The disbelief is plain on his tone, and Mothma chuckles humorlessly. Cassian realizes she's trying not to be offended. 

"Of course. You've been one of my best tenants for years." 

He tries to ignore the emotions rising in his throat.

"But I can't pay you", he still tries to argue, to make her see reason.

Mothma is looking at him with those eyes again. Damn that woman, she knows too much. 

She gestures for him to sit down. He obliges.

"I have enough resources to stay a year without your payments. I hope it won't come to that, but the fact is that I am not as avid for money as you would think", there is a fleeting look of reproof on her features, Cassian can't help but shrug, "and I believe this should be a collaboration between people."

Cassian is silent for a long moment. 

"Thank you", he manages to get that out, and he is staring at anywhere but at Mothma's peaceful face. 

His eyes get glassy, and he looks down to prevent further embarrassment.

"Have you talked to Jyn?" 

"Who's Jyn?"

Mothma is astounded. 

"She's been your neighbor for an entire month now and you don't even know her name?"

Cassian shrinks under her gaze. 

_Jyn._

_Her name is Jyn._

He stumbles on his lame explanation, and Mothma sees right through him. Again. 

"I placed her on the flat next to yours because I thought you had much in common with one another, but I see now that maybe you have  _too much_ in common, if you don't even interact." 

_A Change Is Gonna Come_ is the first song she ever plays. 

"But I will", Cassian says to Mothma, and both of them know it's a promise. 

That is why Cassian spends thirty minutes staring at the mirror later that night. He has bought a lemon cake at the bakery, and it rests inside his refrigerator in accusation. 

He doesn't know if she - Jyn - likes lemon cakes, but he supposes he will find out soon. He won't have to take guesses anymore. 

He knocks on her door. 

She opens it. 

Cassian sees that the lines on her face aren't as hard as he thought they were. Not at all.

"Hi. My name is Cassian." 

"I'm Jyn", she says. 

"I bought a lemon cake. Do you want to share it?" 

The smile that lights up her face is enough reward for all his trials. Her eyes, the greenest he's ever seen, twinkle at his suggestion, and her whole demeanor changes. 

"Okay", Jyn answers simply, but Cassian feels like he's never been this up close and personal to someone in ages. He doesn't mind it that much. 

As he briefly turns back to get the cake, Jyn starts to collect the forks and knives. He thinks he could get used to that. 

Jyn puts a song on her phone. It's  _Mull of Kintyre,_ by Paul McCartney. He smirks, because the next track on the  _Wings_ album is probably  _No More Lonely Nights._

He stops listening to the song at some point. 

Talking to her is better. 

At the end of the night, when Cassian is going back to his apartment, Jyn is waving him off, and she says "See you later" with a bright grin on her face.

The happiness hits him like a Florence Welch song,  _like a bullet in the back,_ because Cassian knows that she wouldn't say that, unless she indeed wanted to see him again. 

He sleeps peacefully that night.


End file.
